Events for the web industry

happening in Newport, South Wales

Archive for the ‘Localhost’ Category

The Pub Quiz – Results & Winners!

Posted on: March 19th, 2014 by joel


Ok, fair dos, the Port80 cherub has been a little slack here but he/she has eventually got off their polished, tiny, golden bottom and is making amends. So, without further ado, here are the winners to the Pub Quiz (well, ‘without further ado’ but interspersed with me pimping stuff).

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At last month’s year’s Winter Localhost event we had a pub quiz which a shed load of you entered…so let’s take a look at your glorious answers…

1) What was the score line when Wales destroyed England during this last year’s 6 Nations tournament?

The actual, glorious answer was 30-3 (“this never happened” said Craig Gardener – of yes it did! No David Randall, it was not luck!).

Update: this joke is obviously less funny after this year’s tournament. That’ll learn* the cherub for tempting fate.

(*yes, I know it’s wrong, it’s just what we sez around ‘ere).

2) Please list the planets of the solar system (smallest to largest)?

@tinocellupica: 'Uranus'

@tinocellupica: ‘Uranus’

Pluto is no longer a planet but I wasn’t going to be anal about it (and more about arses in a moment).

So, here we (starting with the smallest): (Pluto), Mercury, Mars, Venus, Earth, Neptune, Uranus (yup!), Saturn, Jupiter.

Katherine Cory mentions her ‘very easy method just speeds up naming planets’…and then didn’t name any.

Rachel Schillcock must get a mention here because of her lovely entry (personally the cherub would have gone for an ordered list though 😉

@missrachilli: Uranus (again)

@missrachilli: Uranus (again)

A special mention goes to Gaz Parry who simply, but firmly, answered with a ‘no‘.

Final thanks should go to all of you who also decided to go the school pun route: Dan Edwards simply stated “Myanus – Uranus“, Craig Gardener “Uranus (your anus) (bum hole)“. Poetry in motion.

3) Who was the 35th President of the USA?

This answer was JFK.

The answer was not:

  • Arnie
  • Zeldman
  • Colonel Sanders
  • Steve Jobs
  • Some random dude with beard

But the insane prize for this category has to go to Gavin Filmer for his (I hope) random answer of ‘Terry Venables‘.

4) What does PHP stand for?

It looks like the pure answer is ‘PHP Hypertext Processor‘ but I’ve got “Personal Home Pages” lodged in my brain so I’ve been kinda lenient.

Peter Carless maybe hit the nail on the head though with “Please Help Please?!“.  Mark Bucknell was more direct with “Putrid Horrific Poison”. Odd ball entry goes to someone from Romania who stated “Pretty Huge Penis“. Ahem!

The Port80 2014 Web Conference is on the 16th of May in Newport. More »

5) What s the national currency of Egypt?

The correct answer here is the Egyptian Pound but we shouldn’t let that distract us from the (literal) goldmine of answers which included ‘sand‘ (thanks Graham Dobie) Pyramids (how many pyramids for a pint of milk please guv?”) and the even more enticing ‘mummys‘.

6) A Blackberry handheld device is good for what purpose?

A bit naughty this question. Especially since I was once a proud Curve owner for a good while. Popular answers included:

  • a gift
  • a coaster
  • exploring deep space

But best answer goes to Mark Bucknell for ‘Appreciating your iPhone so much more..“.

7) Which Apollo 11 astronaut did not set foot on the Moon?

The correct answer was Michael Collins; who’s role as Command Module Pilot left him orbiting the Moon whilst Aldrin and Armstrong descended to the lunar surface for their history making adventure.

Incorrect answers included:

  • Buzz Lightyear (popular vote)
  • Joel Hughes (nice idea Steve)
  • George Clooney
  • Peter Andrew (Gavin, again)
  • Phil Collins
  • My mate Dave (ok Matthew, you win the crazy horse prize

The really, really, really incorrect answer was anything which even hinted that the Moon landings were faked: Mud, KatherineJaymie, I’m looking at you. I can pretty much guarantee Moon landing hoax theorists won’t win a prize; now that is a conspiracy!

8) Which national team introduced ‘Total Football” at the 1974 World Cup in Germany?

Correct answer was: Holland / Netherlands.

Incorrect answers included:

  • Not ‘The Mighty Ducks” (Gaz Parry).
  • Ben Meyrick decided to flaunt his youth with “I was born in 1991. F**k knows“.
  • Emily Pankhurst would have been proud of this answer: “I’m a chick, I don’t know about these things
  • Fiji
  • Bolton Wanderers (ok, you win)

Well done to Javier from Spain, Val, Peter, Matt Northam and all of you who got his one right.

9) What is the Greek word for ‘fire’?

Pyro is the answer on my card but I was happy to accept “pyra‘.

Interesting answers included:

  • “Maximo Flamo” (nice one, Dan)
  • Hotas
  • Burnos
  • Tofu
  • Pasta” (wtf?!)
  • Bernard” (wtf again?!)

Special mention to Matthew Phillips for this calligraphic beauty:

Greek word for 'Fire'?

10) Mariposa, Motyl, Farfalla, Borboleta, Papillion and Summerfugi are European words for what?

A = Butterfly

Incorrect answers included:

  • slippers
  • cheese
  • bang tidy
  • teabagging
  • prison
  • Your mum (wtf?)

Special thanks to Christina from Romania with this lovely drawing:

Thanks to Christina for this lovely drawing

Are you a freelancer? Or run your own show? The Business of Web Design conference in Cardiff this July is for you. More »

11) The Andrea Gail is an ill-fated ship in which film?

No, not Titanic  or the ship from the Poseidon Adventure (which was called, unsurprisingly, ‘The Poseidon‘) but the boat from a Perfect Storm (not a great film I admit). Rocky V and Das Boot were also incorrect.

12) The name of which American rock band was also the term used by Allied pilots in WWII to describe UFOs?

Foo Fighters! You all pretty much smashed that one out of the park.

13) Who discovered the ‘Box Model Hack”?

The correct answer was Tantek Celik.

Some of you plumbed for other web heavyweights such as Dan Cederholm, Eric Meyer, Peter-Paul Koch, and even Dr Web himself (Zeldman) got a mention. Oddly, I got a mention (thanks Gaz) but no, twaz not me.

And no, Matthew Phillips, it wasn’t Ricky Hatton.

14) In Greek mythology, after being spurned by Nacrcissus, which heart broken nymph pined away until only her voice remained?

The correct answer was ‘Echo‘.

Miley Cyrus‘ was, oddly, a popular answer; cropping up quite a few times – am I missing something here?

15) Which hero’s arch enemy is Dr. Robotnik?

Sonic the Hedgehog. You gamers did well here.

16) What is the well know Arabic word for “The Island” or ‘The Peninsula”?

The answer you were looking for was ‘Al Jazeera‘.

Many of you pointed out that it wasn’t ‘well known‘ if you didn’t know it – well played.

Special mention to Val for this work of art:


17) Which pre-Italian Renaissance painter could draw a perfect circle and had a European space mission named after him.

Giotto. Not Picasso, And certainly not Walt Disney,Il Duce, Buffy, Spongebob Square Pants or Mozart.

18) What is the name of the foreboding island in King Kong?

Skull Island.

(Thanks to Geraldine for spotting the spelling error forboding instead of foreboding). You have been eliminated from the quiz for spureous(sic) miscellaneious(sic) reasons).

19) Which worry prone film character is fluent in more than 6,000,000 forms of communication?

I was surprised how many folks got this wrong as I worried it was a little easy. No, the answer was not Marvin the Paranoid Android but it was in fact the more golden (and more annoying) C-3PO. Great to see ‘Dusty Bin‘ get a nice mention (what are you drinking, Matt Ridding? 😉

The Business of Web Design is touring the UK on a mini-roadshow. Come and say hello. More »

20) What is my favourite colour?

Ok, this is a tricky one I admit; normally I’d say blue so let’s go with that. Clever answers went to Mud AND Rachel Shillcock for thinking that my fave colour might be associated with one of Jack Franklin‘s jumpers; but no. Gaz decided to be cryptic again with his answer: “You have two“. ‘Puke green‘ was never going to be right.

And the winners are….

The two main prizes are courtesy of the lovely folks at Five Simple Steps. Colin, Marta, please chose which pocket guide collection pack you’d like:

  1. UK: Colin Rotherham
  2. Overseas: Marta Armada from Spain

And special prizes of ‘Collection 1‘ pocket guide go to:

  1. Val (for his lovely handwriting & drawing)
  2. Gavin (for his insane answers)

So that about wraps it up! Oh, hang on, need to pimp some stuff:

  1. Port80 2014 is coming up in May, we have some great speakers – check it out.
  2. The Business of Web Design‘ is a new conference aimed at agency owners and freelancers. Check out our line up. Coming to Cardiff in July.
  3. There is no Handheld this year but Craig is running something even better: check out TheWeb.Is

The next Localhost will be in August. Oh, and we’re probably going to run some hands on workshops in September so please shout out if you’d like to know more.



Port80 2014 Spring Localhost – round up

Posted on: March 7th, 2014 by joel

Well, fair dos, that was a cracking Localhost. In fact, I’m pretty sure that was the best one we’ve had (and we’ve had some crackers).

We had a great mix of talks and a lively audience; who could ask for more on a dark, February night!

Big thanks to everyone for attending, to the University team for sorting out the room and, of course, to our speakers for the cracking job they did.

Talking of speakers, here are some links to slides:

Some photos:

Stu 'Tweety' Robson

Stu ‘Tweety’ Robson

Ruth 'Thundercats' John

Ruth ‘Thundercats’ John

Gareth 'Not so' Strange

Gareth ‘Not so’ Strange

See below for some awesome tweets about the event – see you in May?


The Port80 Cherub


Summer Localhost – slides

Posted on: October 30th, 2013 by joel

Through a episode of galactic slackness, I’ve only just now got round to posting out the links to the slides from this year’s Summer Localhost event (apologies to Peter Carless for the hold up here).

So, without further ado, here are zee slides.

Russ’ slides on packaging your services

Tom Bond’s slides on the future of ecommerce

James’ talk on LESS/SASS are on slideshare

Don’t forget that we’re not running a Winter Localhost this month because we’re down in Cardiff for the free, pre-Handheld bash (tickets were here)

Other dates for your diary:

  • there will be a Spring Localhost event (TBC)
  • The main Port80 2014 event will be on Friday the 16th of May
  • My other ‘The Business of Web Design’ conference will be on Friday the 18th of May. Currently calling for speakers.

Shout out if you need owt.


Port80 Localhost & Handheld Fringe Event

Posted on: June 12th, 2013 by joel

The port80 cherub is very happy to announce a fun, one off, fringe event with the lovely guys over at Handheld.

If you don’t know, Craig is running a fantastic event in November with some amazing, headline grabbing speakers including….{hushed silence}…Dr Web himself…Jeffrey Zeldman. The event is obviously not as good as our very own Port80 but hey, hat’s off to Craig for trying 😉

Any road, on the night before the main Handheld event, Port80 and Handheld have joined forces to run the fringe pre-event.

The event is free and, better still, it’s open to non-Handheld ticket holders as well.

The date is Wednesday the 27th of November and venue is the Glee Club in Cardiff.

We’ve got four great speakers AND a web based, pub quiz. Will the fun never stop I hear you cry?! What are you waiting for?

Our speakers are:

Alyson Fielding

Alyson will be talking about her latest project which brings a real physical paper bound book to life with the help of an arduino

Baz Scott

Baz will be airing his frustrations in his talk entitled ‘Why don’t things just work any more?’. This promises to be entertaining!

Graham Lee

Graham will be talking about the philosophy and ethics of writing software. Knowing Graham, this won’t be as straight forward as it sounds.

Andrew Nesbitt

Andrew will be demoing his nodecopter hacks. Flying quadcopters with facial recognition that dance, sounds cool eh?

>>  So, get y’all tickets here <<

The Port80 Cherub


p.s. Oh, before that we’ve got the Aug Localhost event, I’ll blog about that shortly…

p.p.s tickets have been made available only this week and they are flying off the shelves; if you want to come; grab a ticket now…

Spring Localhost

Posted on: February 5th, 2013 by joel

The Spring Localhost event is pretty much on top of us now. Sell out event so we’ll certainly be cosy in there. Don’t forget, if you can’t make it, lemme know as there’s a waiting list a billion miles long.

Don’t forget also that the venue is the City Campus which is slap bang in the middle of Newport…NOT the campus in Caerleon!

If you’re a Foursquarer, then this list of Newport stuff (including the venue) may help you.

Registration is from 18:15 sharp as we need to get you seated promptly if we’re going to squeeze everything in to the 2 hours.

We’re aiming to end by 20:30 at which point we’ll head to a boozer.

The uni should put Port80/Localhost signs up but, if not, the staff will point you in the right direction. Or twit me.

Oh, don’t forget, it’s sold out. If your names not down….well, you know the score.

What’s with the clipboard?

My trusty old clipboard died so I’ve got a sturdier new one. And what I’d like is to start covering up with web conference, tech related stickers; I’ve got some from NACONF but if you have anything related/legal you want to stick on there, bring it along on Thr or send it to my office address.

All stickers gratefully received and you’ll get a shout out.

See you Thursday 🙂


Spring Localhost 2013

Posted on: January 3rd, 2013 by joel

Happy new year everyone! I hope Santa visited you; a cherished present I had was a poster from Atari signed by Mr Nolan Bushnell himself – nice 🙂

Anyway, it’s 2013 so it’s time for me to start thinking of all things Port80. The speakers for the big May event (& the tickets) will be announced shortly but first I just want to get the Spring* Localhost launched which is coming up fast on Thursday the 7th of February (evening event: 18:30 to 20:30)

(*I realise that calling February ‘Spring’ is a stretch but bear with me…)

Tickets available on Eventbrite for a pathetic £4!

Spring Localhost Speakers

I’ll get to the speakers in a mo but first I’ll apologise for not having their talk titles in here; I’ll get those sorted as soon as the emails land until then you’ll just have to let your imagination run riot as to what these crazy horses will say/do; it will obviously be web related…well, apart from Zach…he really is crazy!

Update: all done!

Emma Boulton

“Getting to know your audience doesn’t need to be difficult”

Good web designers and developers appreciate the importance of understanding the audience they are designing or building a website or app for but of course there isn’t always budget or time available to undertake in depth user research on every project. Emma shares her hints, tips and practical advice for including user research in any size of project.

Emma Boulton spends her days juggling the demands of her two small businesses and two small children. At work she’s a strange combination of company director, UX researcher, and commissioning editor. At home she just tries to make it through to bedtime without too much chaos. In a calmer, previous life, she spent far too long working for the BBC in their audience research department.

Zach Inglis

“Design, for Everyone!”

Whether you have an interest in learning design, or working with designers, it’s a handy skill to know. Zach carries on his fight of making design accessible for everyone.

Zach is a designer/developer c-c-combo and has worked at some of the top companies in his field despite having no formal training. He runs his tiny agency, Superhero Studios in Cardiff and building his startup

Carey Hiles

“Whine, Lose or Draw: Spec Work Sucks!”

Whine, lose or draw, spec work sucks but if you do it right, it can form a genuine learning and development programme. Carey will talk about applying agile techniques to the process of pitching for business and make sure you win even when you lose.

Carey is the Development Manager at Box UK. In a role that straddles the guts of software development and board-level strategic decision-making, Carey has a much deeper understanding of the nuts and bolts of software than many other web specialists, with a particular interest in large system design, scalability and commoditization of web technology

Money, money

Don’t stone me but sadly the Localhost events will have to be charged for; they will move from ‘free‘ to ‘minimal charge’ for the following reasons:

  1. The university charge me for use of the room; so far I’ve paid for this (aw bless!)
  2. Some people book tickets, the event sells out & then just don’t show up = unfair on folks who wanted to come

However, this isn’t a money-grabbing affair, this is just to cover bare bones room cost cost and help keep bums on seats. The cost per ticket will be:

£4 only!

…yes, that’s £4. Four whole pounds. Four of your British currency slabs.

>> Book your ticket via eventbrite <<

What are you waiting for?


Port80 Localhost Winter 2012

Posted on: December 14th, 2012 by joel

Well, the final Port80 event of 2012 drew to close in November and it was nice to see so many people brave the darkening nights and dropping temperature to  listen to some web related talks. Funny to think there was NO Port80 concept 12 months ago…

James Scrimshire spoke about Agile project management.

I prattled on about hosting (I cannot find my slides! They weren’t exactly a thing of beauty but still!)

Laura Sanders spoke about her blog and the whole area of content generation.

Many, many thanks to James & Laura for their hard work which paid off with some great, engaging talks.

So, that’s it for 2012 folks! Dates for your 2013 diary are:

7th Feb 2013 – Spring Localhost

10th May 2013 – Port80 2013 (the big one!) Ticktets on sale in Jan

Speakers for both events are confirmed and will be announced shortly.

Have a Merry Christmas everybody & a happy new year!


p.s. if you’re around Zooport tonight, there will be a few of us in The Murenger around 19:30

Some Photos…

James Scrimshire

James Scrimshire

Photo 29-11-2012 20 17 41

Laura Sanders


Port80 Localhost: Winter 2012

Posted on: September 27th, 2012 by joel

The next localhost event will be held on the 29th of November here in sunny old Newport.

Tickets are free but, like last time, space is limited.

The venue is the University of Wales Newport (City Campus) room C25. We’ll kick off slightly later this time at 18:30 and finish at 20:30.

So, what are we blabbering on about this time?

1. Agile in the real world

James Scrimshire – Scrum Master (wow!) – Hurricane Four

James ScrimshawJoel: For those who don’t know (and please excuse my cack handed explanation here), agile is an approach to running projects which is less about trying to know and specify everything up front – where along the way discovery is expected if not encouraged. I’m particularly interested in hearing James speak incase I can pick up any nuggets which can help me with running Jojet’s projects.

Bio: James Scrimshire runs Hurricane Four where he coaches businesses, organisations and individuals about being agile. He’s a regular speaker at agile conferences both in the UK & internationally. His free time is mostly spent dreaming up more ways to use Zombies as a coaching tool. You can find him on twitter @Scrimmers

2. Hosting for the faint of heart

Joel Hughes – Web Strategy gun slinger – Jojet

Yours truly will be talking about the pros and cons of website hosting, the different types of hosting, handling clients etc. It’s actually not as dull as it sounds. The aim of the talk is to go through my experiences of hosting clients websites and also to see what can be learnt from the audience.

Bio: What is there to say? I have a 2:1 degree in computing from the 90’s (remember them?) , I’ve worked on IBM Mainframe computers (old skool!). Been employed by AMEX (Brighton rocks) and British Airways (loved watching Concorde take off). Been down’n’dirty  in the web for donkey’s years. I run Jojet,  a petite web strategy studio producing websites, web applications, training etc.

3. The Recipe for Blog Success 

Laura Sanders – UX designer for Sequence

There will be a brief intro to my blog, an overview of what good content is, what I’ve found works for content on my blog, and some general tips for creating good content for blogs and personal sites.

Bio: Laura runs 1796 Foods, a blog where she aims to eat 1796 of the world’s must-try foods. So far she has racked up 3 years, 800 and something foods, and 40000 followers, and is nominated for the Wales Blog Award this year. After a few assorted jobs, she started properly working in the web industry in April this year as a UX Designer at Sequence in Cardiff. It involves lots of lists, stationery, and cakes which keeps her very happy, though she would like it even better if there were more dinosaurs.

So, what are you waiting for?

Port80 Summer Localhost – closing ceremony

Posted on: September 3rd, 2012 by joel

Many thanks to everyone who came along to the first of the free “localhost” events.

Thanks also to the superb speakers; Ollie Wells, Ben Reid & Rob Mills (links here).

Thanks also to Rich for helping out on registration.

Here is Ollie Wells of Sequence showing off one of their latest websites….ok, maybe not 😉

Also, you’ve got to take a look at these superb sketch notes which Kevin Mears made:

Port80 Summer Localhost sketch notes

If you have any photos etc of the event then please let me know.

Show Notes

Here are some links and resources:

…have I missed anything?

The Next event

The Autumn Localhost will happen on the evening of the 29th of November so set your diary for that (tickets not on Eventbrite yet).

If you would like to speak at an upcoming event , or would like to hear about a certain web related topic etc; then please shout out.


p.s. and thanks for all the lovely feedback 🙂 e.g.

Port80 Localhost – Summer – next week

Posted on: August 23rd, 2012 by joel

So, the first port80 localhost event has snuck up on us and is due to land next Wednesday (the 29th of Aug) around 18:00 here in Newport.

All the free tickets are sold out (unless I can shake a few loose from people who cannae attend anymore).

This event is sold out! Please bring your eventbrite details with you as this will be needed for registration.


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