Events for the web industry

happening in Newport, South Wales


The Pub Quiz – Results & Winners!

Posted on: March 19th, 2014 by joel


Ok, fair dos, the Port80 cherub has been a little slack here but he/she has eventually got off their polished, tiny, golden bottom and is making amends. So, without further ado, here are the winners to the Pub Quiz (well, ‘without further ado’ but interspersed with me pimping stuff).

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At last month’s year’s Winter Localhost event we had a pub quiz which a shed load of you entered…so let’s take a look at your glorious answers…

1) What was the score line when Wales destroyed England during this last year’s 6 Nations tournament?

The actual, glorious answer was 30-3 (“this never happened” said Craig Gardener – of yes it did! No David Randall, it was not luck!).

Update: this joke is obviously less funny after this year’s tournament. That’ll learn* the cherub for tempting fate.

(*yes, I know it’s wrong, it’s just what we sez around ‘ere).

2) Please list the planets of the solar system (smallest to largest)?

@tinocellupica: 'Uranus'

@tinocellupica: ‘Uranus’

Pluto is no longer a planet but I wasn’t going to be anal about it (and more about arses in a moment).

So, here we (starting with the smallest): (Pluto), Mercury, Mars, Venus, Earth, Neptune, Uranus (yup!), Saturn, Jupiter.

Katherine Cory mentions her ‘very easy method just speeds up naming planets’…and then didn’t name any.

Rachel Schillcock must get a mention here because of her lovely entry (personally the cherub would have gone for an ordered list though ;)

@missrachilli: Uranus (again)

@missrachilli: Uranus (again)

A special mention goes to Gaz Parry who simply, but firmly, answered with a ‘no‘.

Final thanks should go to all of you who also decided to go the school pun route: Dan Edwards simply stated “Myanus – Uranus“, Craig Gardener “Uranus (your anus) (bum hole)“. Poetry in motion.

3) Who was the 35th President of the USA?

This answer was JFK.

The answer was not:

  • Arnie
  • Zeldman
  • Colonel Sanders
  • Steve Jobs
  • Some random dude with beard

But the insane prize for this category has to go to Gavin Filmer for his (I hope) random answer of ‘Terry Venables‘.

4) What does PHP stand for?

It looks like the pure answer is ‘PHP Hypertext Processor‘ but I’ve got “Personal Home Pages” lodged in my brain so I’ve been kinda lenient.

Peter Carless maybe hit the nail on the head though with “Please Help Please?!“.  Mark Bucknell was more direct with “Putrid Horrific Poison”. Odd ball entry goes to someone from Romania who stated “Pretty Huge Penis“. Ahem!

The Port80 2014 Web Conference is on the 16th of May in Newport. More »

5) What s the national currency of Egypt?

The correct answer here is the Egyptian Pound but we shouldn’t let that distract us from the (literal) goldmine of answers which included ‘sand‘ (thanks Graham Dobie) Pyramids (how many pyramids for a pint of milk please guv?”) and the even more enticing ‘mummys‘.

6) A Blackberry handheld device is good for what purpose?

A bit naughty this question. Especially since I was once a proud Curve owner for a good while. Popular answers included:

  • a gift
  • a coaster
  • exploring deep space

But best answer goes to Mark Bucknell for ‘Appreciating your iPhone so much more..“.

7) Which Apollo 11 astronaut did not set foot on the Moon?

The correct answer was Michael Collins; who’s role as Command Module Pilot left him orbiting the Moon whilst Aldrin and Armstrong descended to the lunar surface for their history making adventure.

Incorrect answers included:

  • Buzz Lightyear (popular vote)
  • Joel Hughes (nice idea Steve)
  • George Clooney
  • Peter Andrew (Gavin, again)
  • Phil Collins
  • My mate Dave (ok Matthew, you win the crazy horse prize

The really, really, really incorrect answer was anything which even hinted that the Moon landings were faked: Mud, KatherineJaymie, I’m looking at you. I can pretty much guarantee Moon landing hoax theorists won’t win a prize; now that is a conspiracy!

8) Which national team introduced ‘Total Football” at the 1974 World Cup in Germany?

Correct answer was: Holland / Netherlands.

Incorrect answers included:

  • Not ‘The Mighty Ducks” (Gaz Parry).
  • Ben Meyrick decided to flaunt his youth with “I was born in 1991. F**k knows“.
  • Emily Pankhurst would have been proud of this answer: “I’m a chick, I don’t know about these things
  • Fiji
  • Bolton Wanderers (ok, you win)

Well done to Javier from Spain, Val, Peter, Matt Northam and all of you who got his one right.

9) What is the Greek word for ‘fire’?

Pyro is the answer on my card but I was happy to accept “pyra‘.

Interesting answers included:

  • “Maximo Flamo” (nice one, Dan)
  • Hotas
  • Burnos
  • Tofu
  • Pasta” (wtf?!)
  • Bernard” (wtf again?!)

Special mention to Matthew Phillips for this calligraphic beauty:

Greek word for 'Fire'?

10) Mariposa, Motyl, Farfalla, Borboleta, Papillion and Summerfugi are European words for what?

A = Butterfly

Incorrect answers included:

  • slippers
  • cheese
  • bang tidy
  • teabagging
  • prison
  • Your mum (wtf?)

Special thanks to Christina from Romania with this lovely drawing:

Thanks to Christina for this lovely drawing

Are you a freelancer? Or run your own show? The Business of Web Design conference in Cardiff this July is for you. More »

11) The Andrea Gail is an ill-fated ship in which film?

No, not Titanic  or the ship from the Poseidon Adventure (which was called, unsurprisingly, ‘The Poseidon‘) but the boat from a Perfect Storm (not a great film I admit). Rocky V and Das Boot were also incorrect.

12) The name of which American rock band was also the term used by Allied pilots in WWII to describe UFOs?

Foo Fighters! You all pretty much smashed that one out of the park.

13) Who discovered the ‘Box Model Hack”?

The correct answer was Tantek Celik.

Some of you plumbed for other web heavyweights such as Dan Cederholm, Eric Meyer, Peter-Paul Koch, and even Dr Web himself (Zeldman) got a mention. Oddly, I got a mention (thanks Gaz) but no, twaz not me.

And no, Matthew Phillips, it wasn’t Ricky Hatton.

14) In Greek mythology, after being spurned by Nacrcissus, which heart broken nymph pined away until only her voice remained?

The correct answer was ‘Echo‘.

Miley Cyrus‘ was, oddly, a popular answer; cropping up quite a few times – am I missing something here?

15) Which hero’s arch enemy is Dr. Robotnik?

Sonic the Hedgehog. You gamers did well here.

16) What is the well know Arabic word for “The Island” or ‘The Peninsula”?

The answer you were looking for was ‘Al Jazeera‘.

Many of you pointed out that it wasn’t ‘well known‘ if you didn’t know it – well played.

Special mention to Val for this work of art:


17) Which pre-Italian Renaissance painter could draw a perfect circle and had a European space mission named after him.

Giotto. Not Picasso, And certainly not Walt Disney,Il Duce, Buffy, Spongebob Square Pants or Mozart.

18) What is the name of the foreboding island in King Kong?

Skull Island.

(Thanks to Geraldine for spotting the spelling error forboding instead of foreboding). You have been eliminated from the quiz for spureous(sic) miscellaneious(sic) reasons).

19) Which worry prone film character is fluent in more than 6,000,000 forms of communication?

I was surprised how many folks got this wrong as I worried it was a little easy. No, the answer was not Marvin the Paranoid Android but it was in fact the more golden (and more annoying) C-3PO. Great to see ‘Dusty Bin‘ get a nice mention (what are you drinking, Matt Ridding? ;)

The Business of Web Design is touring the UK on a mini-roadshow. Come and say hello. More »

20) What is my favourite colour?

Ok, this is a tricky one I admit; normally I’d say blue so let’s go with that. Clever answers went to Mud AND Rachel Shillcock for thinking that my fave colour might be associated with one of Jack Franklin‘s jumpers; but no. Gaz decided to be cryptic again with his answer: “You have two“. ‘Puke green‘ was never going to be right.

And the winners are….

The two main prizes are courtesy of the lovely folks at Five Simple Steps. Colin, Marta, please chose which pocket guide collection pack you’d like:

  1. UK: Colin Rotherham
  2. Overseas: Marta Armada from Spain

And special prizes of ‘Collection 1‘ pocket guide go to:

  1. Val (for his lovely handwriting & drawing)
  2. Gavin (for his insane answers)

So that about wraps it up! Oh, hang on, need to pimp some stuff:

  1. Port80 2014 is coming up in May, we have some great speakers – check it out.
  2. The Business of Web Design‘ is a new conference aimed at agency owners and freelancers. Check out our line up. Coming to Cardiff in July.
  3. There is no Handheld this year but Craig is running something even better: check out TheWeb.Is

The next Localhost will be in August. Oh, and we’re probably going to run some hands on workshops in September so please shout out if you’d like to know more.



Port80 2014 Spring Localhost – round up

Posted on: March 7th, 2014 by joel

Well, fair dos, that was a cracking Localhost. In fact, I’m pretty sure that was the best one we’ve had (and we’ve had some crackers).

We had a great mix of talks and a lively audience; who could ask for more on a dark, February night!

Big thanks to everyone for attending, to the University team for sorting out the room and, of course, to our speakers for the cracking job they did.

Talking of speakers, here are some links to slides:

Some photos:

Stu 'Tweety' Robson

Stu ‘Tweety’ Robson

Ruth 'Thundercats' John

Ruth ‘Thundercats’ John

Gareth 'Not so' Strange

Gareth ‘Not so’ Strange

See below for some awesome tweets about the event – see you in May?


The Port80 Cherub


Port80 2014 – Hotels

Posted on: March 3rd, 2014 by joel

With the Port80 2014 event starting to loom a little larger on the horizon, here is a list of hotels which may be of use.

This is cheap and cheerful and not a huge walk from Newport city centre.

Celtic Manor
This is a little bit more up market; the sumptuous palace where the Ryder Cup was help is for the more discerning Port80 attendee.

The Priory
This is actually in my little village which is a bus journey from Newport. Caerleon is a lovely old Roman town (check out that amphitheatre!) with some cracking boozers. The Priory is a lovely place to eat & stay.

Knoll Guest House
I’ve not stayed here but have heard great things. Slap bang in town as well.

West Usk Lighthouse

An unusual gem of a B&B (I should write reviews for a living).

Newport Travelodge

Very central in town. And more likely to be a bit more boisterous.

Holiday Inn Express

This is just off M4 J28 (so on the outskirts of Newport). A quieter experience than Travelodge but a taxi ride in and out.

p.s. in case you missed it, Stu Robson & James Cryer are running some great workshops on the day before Port80.


Port80 Workshops in May

Posted on: February 14th, 2014 by joel

On the day before May’s Port80 2014 we’re putting on two, half day,workshops ran by some very smart cookies: James Cryer & Stu Robson. The cost is £59 (+VAT) and tickets are available on Eventbrite.

Workshops will be on the 15th of May 2014 (the day before Port80 2014) and will also be held at the City Campus in Newport.

Stu Robson – “Sass: An introduction” (a.m. workshop)

We’ll look at CSS pre-processors, why and where you would use them, what they do and how they work. After this we’ll move onto how to use the power of Sass to make your CSS authoring more efficient and hopefully more fun.

  • Options for installing Sass on your machine
  • The two syntaxes, Sass & SCSS
  • Variables, mixins and includes
  • Extends and placeholders
  • Built in functions
  • Media queries & nesting
  • Compass, Bourbon and other frameworks
  • Sass and front-end performance
  • And more!



James Cryer – “Making development sane, modern tools for the web” (p.m. workshop)

In an ever changing world, it is difficult to keep up with the latest trends in web development. However, there are tools and frameworks out there that can remove the mundane tasks, freeing up your time to work on the latest and greatest things. In this workshop, we’ll explore the latest tooling available for quickly scaffolding single page applications. This includes automating CSS pre-processing, image optimisation, linting, testing and web performance.

The tools used will be Yeoman which include Yo, Bower and Gruntjs. We’ll also explore the latest features in ChromeDev Tools that can really optimise your workflow.



Please shout out if you have any questions. There will be some ok(ish) tea & coffee available.


Port80 2014 Lineup announced

Posted on: December 5th, 2013 by joel

So finally I get to pull the wraps off the speakers at next year’s Port80 event (Friday 16th of May 2014).

I’ll update the event page with full details of talk titles etc but, for now, sit back and bask in the magnificence of the 2014 Port80 lineup :)

….oh, and tickets are available now :)


p.s. many, many thanks to all the amazing folks who also sent in talk submissions. The quality was awesome; I was spoilt for choice and could have easily filled a multi-day, multi-track event. I hope you’ll forgive me for not choosing you on this occasion :)

Summer Localhost – slides

Posted on: October 30th, 2013 by joel

Through a episode of galactic slackness, I’ve only just now got round to posting out the links to the slides from this year’s Summer Localhost event (apologies to Peter Carless for the hold up here).

So, without further ado, here are zee slides.

Russ’ slides on packaging your services

Tom Bond’s slides on the future of ecommerce

James’ talk on LESS/SASS are on slideshare

Don’t forget that we’re not running a Winter Localhost this month because we’re down in Cardiff for the free, pre-Handheld bash (tickets were here)

Other dates for your diary:

  • there will be a Spring Localhost event (TBC)
  • The main Port80 2014 event will be on Friday the 16th of May
  • My other ‘The Business of Web Design’ conference will be on Friday the 18th of May. Currently calling for speakers.

Shout out if you need owt.


Port80 2014 – Call for Speakers

Posted on: October 1st, 2013 by joel

Hi everyone,

Port80 will be coming back for it’s 3rd event in 2014 so please set your phasers to stun for Friday, the 16th of May 2014. As usual the event will be in Newport, South Wales; easily accessible via road & rail for miles around.

The cherub has got some likely candidates on his/her radar for speakers for next year but all slots are certainly not taken.

Before I give a rough run through of the topics I’m looking to cover in 2014, I just want to go over some of the overarching aims of Port80; maybe this will help guide you as to whether you’d like to speak or not, or to help guide you with some suggestions for speakers (all very much appreciated).

The Spirit of Port80

My aim for Port80 is for it to offer practical advice to the people who build (or are involved with the process of building websites). I like people to have good take-aways which can help them going forward. That’s not to say I don’t like having higher level or more inspirational talks; totally welcome – I just like the balance towards stuff which can be immediately useful.

The typical speakers I’m after have a strong practical grounding in what they do and maybe haven’t even spoken before (or are not regulars on the speaking circuit).

Oh, and in my (limited) experience, the females amongst you are slightly more backwards in coming forwards to speak; please don’t be shy – irrespective of your background. And hey, don’t not speak because you feel that someone out there knows more than you – someone always knows more than you! However, you own your unique perspective? You own that – please feel free to share.

Topics, Schmopics

Let’s move on to the general areas I’d like covered; I’d appreciate if you took a look at this as these are the topics I’m really looking to address.

Content Strategy / Copy Writing

What practical advice can be given to people on the front line of website build and design to help them help clients create better content?


Always interested in how we make the web more open to everybody; does RWD have a11y implications? If so, tell us.

How you work?

There’s no set pattern to how websites are built. If you have insights on your process which could be helpful to others, please share.

CSS, HTML5 etc

Defo interested in any new developments and how they can be applied; don’t be afraid of live coding – show and tell!

The Serverside & Performance

What’s happening in the world of PHP, RUBY, Javascript etc? The Port80 audience contains a mix of people so don’t be afraid to be technical yet, at the same time,  you just need to (try*) put that into context which more folks will understand.

(*not everyone gets every talk at a conference, that’s cool).

Running a business, freelancing etc

I worry a bit that the practicalities of running a business/freelancing and all those other things which go into what we do, get forgotten. That’s one reason why I set up The Business of Web Design (heck, there may be a conference there as well!). So, if you have some insights or angles which can help everyone else; then cool.


Most of us have a handle on what responsive is now so if you’re going to talk about this you probably want to deal with cutting edge issues or solutions etc.


This one is for me! I’m bowled over by the Raspberry Pi, Arduino etc. I’m really interested in iBeacon and Bluetooth LE – there are some damn funky applications in the offing there!

Any other business?

Or, of course, anything else you’d like to speak about – you’re allowed to go off piste :)

Don’t be shy!

Please put your hand up if you’re interested. If not, please have a good think about who you’d like to talk – and they may well not be on the typical speakers circuit.

Please stick your name down on the newsletter to be amongst the first to hear about tickets etc.


p.s. this font size is too small…

Port80 Localhost & Handheld Fringe Event

Posted on: June 12th, 2013 by joel

The port80 cherub is very happy to announce a fun, one off, fringe event with the lovely guys over at Handheld.

If you don’t know, Craig is running a fantastic event in November with some amazing, headline grabbing speakers including….{hushed silence}…Dr Web himself…Jeffrey Zeldman. The event is obviously not as good as our very own Port80 but hey, hat’s off to Craig for trying ;)

Any road, on the night before the main Handheld event, Port80 and Handheld have joined forces to run the fringe pre-event.

The event is free and, better still, it’s open to non-Handheld ticket holders as well.

The date is Wednesday the 27th of November and venue is the Glee Club in Cardiff.

We’ve got four great speakers AND a web based, pub quiz. Will the fun never stop I hear you cry?! What are you waiting for?

Our speakers are:

Alyson Fielding

Alyson will be talking about her latest project which brings a real physical paper bound book to life with the help of an arduino

Baz Scott

Baz will be airing his frustrations in his talk entitled ‘Why don’t things just work any more?’. This promises to be entertaining!

Graham Lee

Graham will be talking about the philosophy and ethics of writing software. Knowing Graham, this won’t be as straight forward as it sounds.

Andrew Nesbitt

Andrew will be demoing his nodecopter hacks. Flying quadcopters with facial recognition that dance, sounds cool eh?

>>  So, get y’all tickets here <<

The Port80 Cherub


p.s. Oh, before that we’ve got the Aug Localhost event, I’ll blog about that shortly…

p.p.s tickets have been made available only this week and they are flying off the shelves; if you want to come; grab a ticket now…

Port80 2013 – Round Up

Posted on: May 17th, 2013 by joel

Port80 2013 was a week ago today so that seems a good point to get out a closing ceremony blog out there…

First up let’s give you links to the speakers slides

Videos will be online at some point (nudge nudge Jess).

You should also check out the fantastic sketch notes which Kevin Mears put on his blog – what a talented chap!

Photos (by Paul Cornish) are now up on Flickr (some random ones in the slideshow below).




    I’m not going to do a lengthy feedback form but please email me or tweet me if you have any thoughts about the event; especially stuff which can help make it a sell out event again next year. If there are any topics you’d like to see covered, if there is anyone you’d like to hear speak etc then please shout out.

    My personal feedback next year is that I’m going to get some more help setting up and running the event! By spending most of the day in “organisation mode” you tend to miss some of the fun of the day – still, I made up for it by beating Jack Franklin in a dance off ;)

    What’s next?

    There will be a Port80 2014 – I’ll be booking the venue shortly.

    The next Port80 Localhost event will be on Aug the 22nd – more details soon.

    This year we have a special Winter Localhost as it’ll be tied in the Handheld conference, we’ll be doing the day before mini, evening, event thingy.

    I’m also mulling a sort of “back to school” event in Sept. No conference, just affordable, hands on workshops to help skill up after the summer break. This will only work if I can get some decent sponsors on board. If you have any thoughts, please get in touch.


    A massive thanks to everyone who attended. The conference market is pretty crowded and the fact that you took time out, put your hand in your pocket and helped make #port80 2013 the special day it was, makes all the difference. Thank you.

    Massive thanks to all the speakers – they did an absolutely fantastic job. A really interesting mix of talks reflecting the whole spectrum of topics.

    Big thanks to Russ Britton for his organisation help on the day and for the University of South Wales for their lovely venue; special thanks to Emma Burnell for her fantastic help as events co-ordinator & to Sean Hambleton for his a/v & venue set up expertise. Oh, and big #port80 ‘best of luck‘ to Emma who is expecting a baby and won’t be around for #port80 2014.

    Thanks also to my wife Jess for being in charge of the video filming (more details on that soon) and to Paul Cornish for his photography skills.

    Final thanks to the sponsors of Memset, Hearth Internet, Newport City Council and Five Simple Steps.

    See you next year



    Port80 2013 – Attendee Information

    Posted on: May 7th, 2013 by joel

    The venue is the City Campus university building next to the river in central Newport (if you jump in a taxi do NOT head to Caerleon…that would be the wrong campus!).

    Please bring along a printed copy of your eventbrite ticket or on your smartphone app. If you have neither, then please make sure you have ID to prove you are how you say you are. People pretending to be someone else will be forced to live in Newport. Forever.

    The venue is about a 10 min stroll from the railway station and less from the bus.

    Need a cheap hotel?

    Here is the official #Port80 Foursquare list of stuff in Newport, that should help you find your way around.

    Time’s winged chariot 

    As you can see from the running order for the day, registration is open from 08:15. We’ve got a lot of people to get through the doors so the #Port80 cherub would appreciate you turning up early.

    We kick off proceedings at 09:00 sharp.



    The canteen will be open for lunch but please feel free to bring your own if you prefer – there’s other venues* on the Foursquare list (* chip shops).



    If you need a taxi:

    • 01633 216216
    • 01633 271971
    • 01633 253253

    (if you are staying in a hotel, maybe use the #port80 Twitter tag to help find someone else who’s staying there to share a cab to the venue)


    The Evening Before The Event (the 9th)

    Errr…I’ve not organised anything for that but, if I had a few hours to kill, I’d probably head over to Ye Olde Murenger ale house and get plastered drink sensibly as there is a conference the next day. If you’re around in the day on the 9th and want somewhere to work; try Indycube.

    The After Show Party

    From 19:00 after the conference we’ll be at Revolution in Newport – we have the upstairs bar. You will need your lanyard etc to get in so please bring those with you. Oh, and we do have a limited supply of free drinks vouchers and those will vanish on a first come first serve basis. So, if you want a drink on the cherub, better turn up on the dot.






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    • March 7th, 2014 - Port80 2014 Spring Localhost – round up

      Well, fair dos, that was a cracking Localhost. In fact, I’m pretty sure that was the best one we’ve had (and we’ve had some crackers). We had a great mix of talks and a lively Read more »

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      With the Port80 2014 event starting to loom a little larger on the horizon, here is a list of hotels which may be of use. IBIS This is cheap and cheerful and not a huge Read more »

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